I would say your affair turned into a full blown relationship

I made the mistake of cheating on my wife of 8 years. We had three kids together, and I didn’t know it at the time but she really struggled with post partum. She was not emotionally available, for years… wouldn’t hug, or kiss me. When I brought up the issues she just said she was exhausted and I could never understand. I suggested counseling but she could never find time. I started a sexual relationship that lasted for 2 years until her husband found out and shared it with the world. I was in some kind of mind fuzz the entire time. I thought my wife didn’t really care, and didn’t have any interest in a better marriage. I was so wrong… we are 4 months in and we have both read almost every book we can find. Podcasts every single day as well as the bible every morning. She can not escape the pain I have caused her. She is dedicated to staying married, but can’t find joy anywhere. The trauma caused PTSD, sometimes she can’t remember what happened the previous day. I will never want to be married to anyone else. I can’t stand to see her in so much pain. We are doing everything everyone suggests and the days just seem to be getting worse. I would do anything to take her pain away. I am filled with guilt, and shame, and can’t believe I did what I did.

I’m sorry that your marriage relationship has experienced such betrayal

Mathew. I understand from reading your post how you fell pray to an affair. 2 years is a very long time. My husband and I were married for 32 years and he cheated on me with a co worker for 3 years. I figured it out and caught him. We were experiencing some difficulties in our marriage. Mostly me acting out because he was ignoring my needs . we own a few businesses and he wasn’t finding urgency in what I needed. We are five years since discovering the affair and still married. Having been through it and were I’m at now I would like to explain somethings to you. 4 months is till very raw. It took me 3 years + to start feeling somewhat normal. I had lost all feelings https://kissbrides.com/pt-pt/blog/estrangeira-noiva-a-visa-para-os-eua/ for him I felt nothing for him for about a year with hope that maybe it will return. And it has but not 100%. Betrayal is very difficult to overcome. I still have doubts about staying married to him. But I have to forgive but I will never forget. The marriage that you had with your wife was basically died through you having an affair. The only way to the future together is to start a new marriage better marriage and she has to look at her part in the death of your marriage and work on herself. We have been moving forward in our marriage and yes it feels new and fresh but I don’t trust him and that has to come back. I for the life of me cannot understand how a man can have an affair for 2 years then wants to save his marriage when caught. Why not stay with the affair partner. My husbands states he doesn’t want her she was married also. I can’t wrap my mind around that. Nor do I believe it. It’s been a difficult journey for us. I wish it never happened. But I’m glad it did because it forced me to grow as a person. I’m stronger more outgoing.iv taken up golf. I’m not the same person. I love me now. I hope you find this helpful. And much luck to you and your wife. It was a verybad choice to cheat on her. I hope she to will grow from the experience. Hugs.