Relationships change over time, so feeling like the spark is gone may not be unusual. As you and your partner become more familiar, you may feel more content, secure, and calm. You might not get butterflies in your stomach anymore when you see their name pop up on your phone. If you have children, the dynamic of your relationship may have shifted significantly.
How do I bring my spark back?
There may be a few ways to bring the spark back to your relationship. Start by focusing on the little things, like planning a date night you’ll both enjoy or leaving a note on your partner’s care just to say, “I love you.” Trying to have fun together. These things may remind you of when you first started falling in love, which can help reignite the spark.
If you are holding onto any resentments from the past, trying to forgive your partner may improve your relationship. It can also be important to apologize for anything you know you did that may have hurt your partner somehow. (Again, this does not apply to abusive relationships. If you are experiencing abuse of any kind, please see our Get Help Now page for resources.)
Communication can be another critical point in getting your spark back. If you and your partner need help learning how to effectively communicate with one another, talking to a couples’ counselor can help. Read more